My youngest son recently called to tell me of a death in the family—someone I had known quite well but hadn’t seen for many years. He was 75 years old, rode his bike every day, lifted weights, and ran up the stairs to keep fit. He had a little farm with a pony and all sorts of animals. He was active in church, and he was a precious grandpa, father and husband. His wife especially needed his daily care.
His car had run out of gas, and he crossed a busy highway on foot to get some. Coming back with the gas, a car hit him and killed him. I feel so sorry for the woman who drove that car. No matter what caused this accident, it was heartbreaking for everyone. He left behind a large family who needed him and loved him and will miss him very much, especially his grieving wife, plus all his animals who depended on him.
“God, why did you allow this?”
It’s difficult to accept. Scripture says that God works all things for good. One part of me says piously that God had a purpose and everything will work out according to His will—but another part of me screams, “God, why did you allow this?”
After losing a son, I told myself I would be ok because I believed in God, and He would help me through it. Bob had fought the good fight against terminal cancer, and he had lost—but he left us all with an example of living with courage. He left us with a recorded message of his faith in God. And like another family, he left us with broken hearts. Even the most dedicated Christians are still emotional beings with human feelings. The pain of loss takes a long time to heal.
The Struggle With Grief is Real
Writing a memoir about my loss of a son was how I dealt with my grief. The process of healing recorded in Beyond the Visible Edge revealed my struggle to accept Bob’s death, and my struggle to accept God’s will. That struggle also helped me learn to accept the truth of God’s love and Sovereign wisdom.
Many things happen here on earth that we will never understand. Someone says: just trust in God. It’s not usually easy, but there is freedom in letting Him take over. If we search His Word for understanding and spend time in His presence daily, our trust and understanding will grow deeper and more precious. God will do something within us as we faithfully seek to know Him better.
The Answer Lies in Hope
As I wrote in my memoir, we all need hope—something to look forward to. And beyond this visible life is a glorious eternity with the One God who died to provide it.
